Ah, I needed to hear that!

So now I see I'm not the only one who has this issue. This is an entry from the Urban Dictionary, about the auto correct feature on iPhones:

Auto Incorrect: When the auto-correct feature on your iPod Touch or iPhone tries to correct your spelling, but instead changes it to words that just don't make sense with what you're typing.

Oh yeah. I really love my iPhone, but I suspect my pal eA gets more laughs from my auto incorrect foibles than she does from my intentionally humorous texts. At least in my new software update, it now allows me to nix the correction (if I notice in time). The old program would keep correcting as many times as I'd keep typing. And sometimes the words it substitutes are so freaking outlandish, I have to wonder who is behind the program! Some of our more frequently subbed-in words are now standard lingo:

• "hell" becomes "he'll". Without fail. Sometimes I'll keep resending and it'll keep correcting until I end up dropping the f-bomb
• "shit" becomes "shut". Which we usually just type now for fun. "Sick of so much shut in my mailbox! Junkmail. WTF?"
• "eww" becomes "ewe". This one really puzzles me. How common is it in text lingo to use the word "ewe"? No, seriously. It accepts all the common text abbreviations, no problem. And I know "eww" is not an official word, but... ewe? Do we have lots of sheep-related texting happening? My guess is AT&T doesn't have outstanding coverage in most sheepranch areas. But that could just be a guess. Sometimes I use "ewe" on purpose now. Other times I just drop the f-bomb.
• "Oy" becomes "it". Don't ask me why. But if I don't catch it before I send it, eA usually ends up with a "he'll" also. Or the f-bomb.
  

Interestingly enough, all derivatives of the f-bomb (past, present, participle, gerund, verb, noun) are left completely alone by iPhone's auto incorrect feature. At least somebody at Apple knew what they were doing the day they put this program together!

Piper Denna
Romance is sexy!