And all these "in my next life"s got me thinking they'd be great to use for a character in a book, one who spouts them all the time, or maybe to use as subtitles.
Yeah, because I write all the damn time, right? I should have that puppy written in a month.
Which is whiny, but dang. Too many things are getting between me and the Word program.
But then I start thinking there must be a way to work writing time into my nonschedule (because, at heart, I am a glass-is-so-charming-I-should-get-one-like-it, er.... glass-half-full kind of girl). Hey, I can be optimist and still be whiny now and then. So let's see. If I quit fixing my hair and wearing makeup, I could have roughly another 30 minutes per day. Plenty of women "my age" just wear their hair straight and have severed their ties with Maybelline. And if I abandon styling the hair, I might as well ditch the dye too--that's a good 30 minutes every 3 weeks. If I went to showering only every 3rd day, on those 2 days in between, I'd have almost another 30 minutes, accounting for the shower, toweling, and moisturizing... plus then I'd save all that time weighing myself (which I do every time I shower while my feet are damp so I can do the bodyfat thing too and get even more annoyed about being old and fat). I could ditch blogging, which averages 15 minutes per weekday. Cut back sleep to 3 or 4 hours per night and I'd gain another 2-3 hours. Quit making the bed and--no, never mind. Not making the bed would make me feel all (insert Pat laugh from old SNL skits). Yergh. Can't skip that. Maybe instead of walking just to exercise, I could walk to work--shave off the time I'd normally spend driving. And since I won't be loofa-ing my feet in the shower anymore, those calluses will build and eventually I won't need shoes, which will save all that time searching for the right socks with the right shoes, then lacing up.
I think I'm onto something.
So in a few weeks if you see an old shoeless gray chick hobbling toward a school, with a laptop bag and a lunch box, and fume-waves like PigPen's all around, it's probably me. Write a note on my Facebook wall and I'll get back to you ASAP.
Happy Friday, peeps.