Monday Moron

Monday, February 21st, 2011

Woman contacted police about being sold fake cocaine. She was arrested on charges of possession of cocaine.

Piper Denna

Romance is sexy!

A school report... on ME?

Imagine my surprise last night when a friend phoned me because her daughter has been working on a big project for English class where she had to learn all about an author and do a report--and she chose me as the author!

I was further surprised to learn she's found interviews with me on the internet, from which she culled some of her facts (including a comment I made about "ly" words...which she remembered). Today she gets to "be" me in class, and her classmates will ask her interview questions she's prepared--and she'll answer them with what she's learned on the net, and from our phone interview last night.

What a cool project, huh? Wish I could be there to see it--but she's in California, and I'm obviously not. I'd never thought about this sort of thing, even when I used to imagine I'd maybe one day be "famous" for my books. :)

Well, I wish her luck and fun with the report.

Autumn Piper

Got romance?

Something new

I've always wanted an orchid, and this week I bought one for myself. I know, they have a reputation for being hard to grow. Which is part of what's kept me away from them for so long.

But I wanted to try it. And the company who sells this particular orchid, the Just Add Ice Orchid Co., tries to make caring for them as easy as possible. They even have a desktop app to remind you to water. And putting 3 ice cubes in the pot each week seems like Plants for Dummies. Although on poking around the site, I did learn orchids are extremely sensitive to change in light or temperature (which could explain why so many begin to die immediately upon arriving in their new homes). And the roots should never be standing in water (mine was standing in quite a lot). And they normally only bloom once a year, so most people would probably get bored with it and toss it.

So we'll see. It's something new--and it's (almost) spring, and so anxious to grow things.

Have a great day. (I get to spend mine with my sweet baby niece!)

Autumn Piper

Got romance?

Whatcha readin' Wednesday

I've deviated from my routine romantic fiction and settled in with a nonfiction title this time:

Click, the Magic of Instant Connections.

"There is that special moment when two people click, rather than simply meet."

Those "magical moments" fascinate me, and I figured it'd be good research for a romance writer--although the book also talks about job interviews, friendships, and even hostage negotiations in addition to romantic connections.

I'll be reviewing it... eventually. If/when I ever get time to seriously read.

Autumn Piper

Got romance?

Not on my bucket list

Front page of the newspaper Sunday featured an article about a lovely, unsuspecting American couple who yachted over to Somalia, and whaddaya know--pirates got 'em. Which made me think, "Wow. If I had a yacht, I'd simply not go to Somalia."

And here are a few other things I'm perfectly fine with never doing:

• Touching/holding snakes or petting crocodiles
• Climbing Everest. Sure, it's probably beautiful up there, but look how many people die on the way. And any sport that involves wearing ice picks for shoes holds no appeal to me. I'm happy with climbing 16th street here in town, and occasionally getting out of the car at the top of Vail Pass.
• Getting a tattoo--I avoid needles at all costs. Incidental inkblot art (aka Sharpie accidents) on my hands are more than enough body art for me.
• Eating any type of bug, spider, squid, or octopus. My personal menu came with only 1 slot for Things With More Than 4 Legs--and crab got that spot.
• Going to the North Pole (again with ice pick shoes) or Antarctica (ice pick shoes + penguin poo = yuck)
• Trying snake (had a chance once with an aggressive rattler the guides killed and fed the kids on one of my son's field trip. Passed.) or worms, or the worm in a tequila bottle--no slots on my menu for Things With No Legs or Fins
• Sushi (if it had a head, it must be cooked for me to eat it) or clams/oysters on the half shell (same principle)
• Plastic surgery (more of the needle issue)
• Sub in kindergarten again (please let's not talk about it)

So how bout you? Any non-bucket items?

Autumn Piper

Got romance?

Monday Moron

Oh, my. Imagine the sales pitch for this woman's plan:

Having money trouble? Sell a baby on Craig's List! Not pregnant? Pretend you are!

http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/dailyrft/2010/12/joplin_woman_sell_baby_craigslist.php

What gets me is, don't these idiots think the people who've given them money are going to catch up to them? Or do they suppose they'll have cured their money troubles by then and be able to give the money back?

I know, I'm putting entirely too much thought into this--much more than the perp did.

Piper Denna

Romance is sexy! (morons, notsomuch)

Friday funny

Some people are like Slinkies -- not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

:)

Happy weekend!

Autumn Piper

Got romance?

Well, that's just sad

I do love ebooks, and ereaders, for many reasons.

However. The Borders store where I had my book signing (my first ever) last spring is one of locations that'll close. The news report last night said it'd be as soon as 2 weeks.

Man. I'm sure it's even more sad for the employees of that store. And I guess I can look on the "bright" side--this means our B&N will be that much stronger. Still. I can't help but feel bad for Borders. They supported ebooks (hubby bought my Reader there) back when B&N had shut down their ebookstore and eschewed the whole bit. Borders supported ereaders which could use books from wherever; B&N tried being proprietary (their damn ebooks still are, which still pisses me off because I really wanted to read that book I bought from them but am NOT going to read it from my laptop. Jerks) by only selling books for the Nook, and having those books only available to read on the Nook.

However. I do have to say, at least B&N makes all book "available" in their catalog, if they are available through the book distributors. It was rather like pulling teeth to get my books into the Borders store for my signing. And as far as the local stores go, I've noticed B&N advertises their events a bit more than Borders does (probably a bigger budget, since Borders as a whole has been in trouble for a couple of years now).

So I guess we'll see how it pans out.

Autumn Piper

Got romance?

Point of no return?

Have you ever thought about something you did when you were young, which now (with hindsight, experience, and age) scares you crappy? Knowing what I know now about how much work it is to get a writing career off the ground...

Well. There's this series of books my daughter very much wants to read. And our library seems to have every title in the series, except for the 1st. Weird, I know. We checked the online catalog and discovered they "stock" the ebook. So I requested it for her and told her when it becomes available, I'll load it on my Reader and she can try it out. Which in itself is not at all scary--she takes care of things, so I know the Reader will be safe. So here's what's got my hair standing on end: I kinda want to read that book, too. And all the others I looked at... which might make me really start liking YA (that's Young Adult fiction, for all you non-knowers), which in all probability would make me want to write some YA. Which would entail adopting yet another pen name. Meg Cabot manages to publish YA and adult fiction under one name, but... Yeah. I'm not sure that would be 'safe' for me. I mean, I work with that YA reader-base daily. And it wouldn't be a good thing for girls to read a YA book by me, and then, say, give Lone Star Trouble a spin. Another pen name is a huge pain. HUGE. And yet...kids are always hearing I write, and asking about reading my books. I've no doubt they'd go check out my books if they were age-appropriate. And kids (teen girls especially) are great talkers. They'd provide awesome feedback. Yeah, that could become quite addictive. *sigh*

Probably I should just skip reading that book. Probably.

Autumn Piper

Got romance?

Tube Tuesday-The things we do for love

OK. So I used this clip over the weekend at the big LASR blog party. But since most of my blog followers weren't there....

It's an oldie but goodie from Happy Days (a show I miss so much I've ordered the DVDs from Netflix--also because my son has been talking about the Fonz a lot lately).

Anyway, the clip shows the lengths we sometimes go to, in an effort to keep those home fires burning. And hopefully it'll make you smile.

Piper Denna

Romance is sexy!

Love this!

More cool stuff gleaned from Parade magazine (probably the highlight of most weekends)... this week they had an article which consisted of advice from famous folk--to Prince William and Kate Middleton, on marriage.

I love the quote from Jay Leno. He's such a romantic, and always speaks so highly of Mavis. Makes him a true hero in my mind. He says, "If my wife is passionate about something, she can have it. She loves cats and I'm allergic. We've had cats for 30 years, so you sneeze once in a while. It's a small price to pay."

Now isn't that sweet?

And here's a very interesting bit of information: Susan Lucci has been married for 40 years! Guess she knows how to keep romance burning in real life, too!

Happy Valentine's Day

Piper Denna

Romance is sexy!

Friday Funny

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

Piper Denna

Romance is sexy!

Lyrical call for submissions - Irish

Lyrical Press is actively seeking submissions for our 2nd annual set of Irish-themed novels/novellas, to release March 2012. We want romantic, sexy stories either set in Ireland or including an Irish hero/heroine. Any subgenre of romance/erotica is welcome (we’d love to see what someone can do with an Irishman in a steampunk).

Books will benefit from group promotion—our authors in this year’s set have worked together and are doing some fantastic co-marketing.

Word counts can range between 15,000-90,000 words. Deadline for submissions is June 1, 2011.

Please include a 1-2 pages synopsis and your full manuscript, attached (in either .doc format, or .rtf). Enter “Irish 2012” in subject line and email directly to mary_murray@lyricalpress.com OR piper@lyricalpress.com

Piper Denna

Romance is sexy!

Does this happen at your house too?

I was going to take a photo and post it, but then I got embarrassed, so... picture a dining room table with a pretty potted plant on top (but shoved to one side), along with 2 laptops and their peripheral mouses (is mice the plural for those devices?), mouse pads (the table is just glossy enough that the mouses/mice don't work spectacularly on its bare surface), a stack of coupon booklets from the Sunday paper, 2 legal pads, 3 gel pens in assorted colors, a salt shaker (no idea why), some junk out of hubby's lunch box (including electrical tape and travel-size bottle of ibuprofen), assorted business cards, hubby's big binder o' invoices & receipts for his business, one of my bookmarks...

Getting a picture? Don't worry if you didn't know what color my table is--it barely shows through anyhow!

Don't get me wrong--it's a quick cleanup. We do have places where all that stuff belongs, and if company comes, we always clear the table. :)

However, with all this assorted crap piled on (and yes, most of it is important), I probably don't have to admit we hardly eat at the table. I eat breakfast and lunch at it, but for dinner we pretty much load up our plates from the stove/counter, and end up eating in the living room, using TV trays, the coffee table, or our laps, in front of the TV. Now, I know, all the family therapists and pediatricians wouldn't like that. At all. And yet... we do still all eat together. Does that give me, like half-credit?

*sigh* In another life, I'll try to get our collective shit collected together someplace else besides our dining table.

Until then...

Piper Denna

Romance is sexy!(messes are not)

Tube Tuesday

Ah, the unsung hero... in this case, the BFF with more on his agenda than the heroine knows. In Pretty in Pink, Ducky was the real hero.

I've always thought the guy Andie fell for was a yutz because when his yuppy friend gave him an ultimatum, it took him weeks to stand up for what he felt. Not very heroic, in my opinion. But Ducky, he was there for Andie. Even when he was upset and said he wouldn't be. As soon as she had her heart broken, he was back by her side again. Ready to protect her and make her happy. Then, of course, came that heartbreaking scene at Prom. Which I've turned over in my mind plenty of times, and I guess it worked out for the best. I mean, it would've been rather lame if Andie had ended up with Ducky only after she learned what jerks the "richies" were. And at least Ducky got noticed by some hot girl. *sigh* Still, he's the hero for me in this movie.

Piper Denna

Romance is sexy!

Monday Moron

This one's a "true crime" story:

http://www.truecrimereport.com/2010/12/leonard_spagnolo_stupid_boyfri.php#more

And if Leo's stupidity isn't quite enough, go ahead and read some of the comments below the story...

Piper Denna

Romance is sexy!

Friday Funny

Who doesn't love a blonde joke (aside from blondes, that is)?

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

Piper Denna

Romance is sexy!

Editing gaffe? Or total book fail?

I'm pretty self-conscious about errors in my own books, and also in the ones I edit.

Cannot imagine how a whole bunch of people are feeling right now about this children's book.

Looks like one you'd see featured on Jay Leno when they show funny stuff from the 99Cents Only store.

Autumn Piper

Got romance?

I did the unthinkable.

Wow. I'm kinda livin' on the edge this week.

I did something I never thought I would (and no, I'm not talking about this extreme diet I'm on, although I never saw myself doing that either), something women simply don't do, at least not the women in my family. At least one of my grandmas would be turning over in her grave if she knew!

And now that the trash truck has come and gone, there's no turning back. It's permanent.

I threw away Tupperware.

*letting that sink in for a moment while the gasps subside*

Yep. And some of it I'd "only" had since before my son was born, when I did a stint as a Tupperware consultant. It'd been used hard and often, but had gotten stained and bubbly-burned and was generally Unfit for Guest Eyes. I've been longing for glass containers with lids, and this weekend splurged on some, so I had no excuse for hanging on to the poor unkempt plasticware any longer. God knows as often as we've moved, it's been good to shove all that plastic into a giant, lightweight box--that won't work with the Pyrex. Still. *sigh* When it's clean, it's really clean... no odors, no burns, no stains.

I've already missed the nice cool handles on the sides of those microwavable plastic bowls, I tell ya. But we'll deal. All things must come to an end, no?

So, so long old bowls... this is where we go our separate ways. (and those new clear glass ones are so much more attractive to eat salad from...)

Autumn Piper

Got romance?

PS and before anybody tells me about the lifetime warranty-- I know all about it from my days consulting. But really, I have no desire to "hook up" with a consultant in order to get my replacements, nor do I want the replacements. That part of my life just needs to be... over. :)

Tube Tuesday

Holy moly. This commercial made me stop mid-living room, mid-step, and stare at the TV until it was over.

Now that's effective advertising!

(somebody needs to write a hot book about this guy...)

Piper Denna

Pom Wonderful is sexy!