things are pretty soggy around here.
As in, it's raining every day around here. So I've ordered an ark and I'm ready to go.
Thing is, I don't love ALL God's creatures in the way that, say, Noah did. So I figure, hey, if I've gotta take this type of initiative, I'm entitled to make a few "executive" decisions (or in this case - exclusions).
- No mosquitos. Non negotiable. Bats will have to find something else to eat. Besides, like I have time to make some little-ass cage to keep 'em in... sheesh.
- No snakes. In the future, birds will have to pick up the slack for rodent control.
- No wasps (aka yellow jackets), fire ants, or killer bees. Sorry for 'em, but other insects will step in. Earth will be okay.
- NO, and I mean absolutely NO centipedes or millipedes. Yuck. I'm not even going to offer an explanation.
If I've gotta be stuck on a boat with only inlaws, poop-slinging monkeys, barking dogs, spraying skunks, and various other noisy, smelly animals for 40 days and nights, I'm damn sure eliminating the uck factor for when we disembark.
Soaking wet in Colorado,