USA Today Best of 2012

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Better off not "Knowing"

Fuscius and I went out last weekend, the works (sans kids): Dinner, movie, hotel (yeah, I was easy and totally let him seduce me, LOL). Well. Our friends saw I Love You, Man, which would have been a better choice than the flick we ended up seeing: Knowing, with Nic Cage.

I'm a big Cage fan. And the synopsis looked okay, the trailers looked intriguing where his son held these sheets of paper covered in numbers, which correspond to all the major disasters in the last 50 years. Cool. A number puzzle. Somebody's gonna be a hero. The previews showed lots of action scenes and this clever scientist who'd solve the mystery and prevent some greater tragedy. And this week I've seen lots of trailers pimping it as a movie about hope.

Not so much. This was the most depressing movie I've seen in like... ever. Nic's character drank himself into oblivion every night after tucking his boy in, and was only half there before the kid went to bed, not that it was the point of the movie. I found a huge disconnect between the numbers and the final, devastating event. What was the point of anyone knowing what the numbers meant? None of the events could be prevented! How could the Power who gave this information to the little girl predict the future anyway? On the upside, I really hate stories where humans destroy the planet, but in this movie the humans did not affect their outcome for good or bad. So hey - relax about global warming! The End is near and there's not a damn thing anybody can do about it!

Tag line should have used been: Life sucks and then you die.

One kudos: The little girl in this movie is probably the scariest kid EVER. Totally freaky. She makes the Children of the Corn look like Gerber Babies.

This review isn't about thumbs up or thumbs down. I wish I'd have had thumbs for my eyes and ears during it.

Save your time. Save your money. Watch An Inconvenient Truth - it's more uplifting. And if you think I'm rude for spoiling the movie, truly, I am trying to spare you!

Got romance? (Knowing does not, by the way)

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