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Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Can we heal the rift?

We have a serious, swept-under-the-rug problem in this society. Nobody really talks about it, but it's there, destroying things we hold dear and undermining relationships.

I think it's a fairly modern problem, although our ancestors may have dealt with it in milder form. Today I'm looking for solutions, suggestions, and similar stories. With any luck, maybe I can start a grass-roots movement and get some public education going.

Educating couples (particularly men!) at the onset of committed relationships would go a long way toward closing the gap.

So, you might be asking (WTH is she yammering about?), what is this big conundrum?

The trouble starts when a non-laundry-doing partner in a relationship leaves something (valuable or breakable or with possible destructive properties such as an ink pen) in HIS pockets and the item gets washed. And usually dried as well. Some items simply do not survive the tumbling and power-jetting of a modern washing machine, which is likely to infuriate the negligent owner of said pocketed item. Of course, other clothing can also be ruined in the process, which is likely to infuriate the owner of said clothing (otherwise why in the name of Hercules would she have bothered to wash the damn clothes??? She'd simply have thrown them in the garbage if she wanted them ruined!).

Inevitably, NonLaundryDoer blames LaundryDoer for Not. Checking. Pockets. (wherein somebody's head immediately spins in circles while green guck spews from her lips)

Hello? Is not the fact that she is washing his freaking clothes enough burden to lay upon her soft shoulders? Now she's got to poke thru his pocket lint in search of useful items too?

LaundryDoer, naturally (and correctly) argues that it was HIS responsibility to remove his shit from his pockets before depositing his clothing in the hamper. *with her arms folded over her chest*

Well, there you have the crux of it, and boy has this caused problems in many a relationship.

Stalemate? I think not. The solution is to find someone these men admire/trust/adore and have him or her educate them, whether through a stand-up comedy act, an episode of South Park/Reno 911, or Public Service Announcements in Sports Illustrated and during half-times and The Victoria's Secret Fall Fashion Show. There's got to be a way to get to these men, I just know it. After all, we know they are wrong...

So please, offer up your war stories or suggestions, or even just a funny laundry-oops story.

Myself, I've washed everything from receipts and checks to pocket-knives (God if only I had a buck for every time the pocket knife when into the washer, and I got hollered at for it. You know, it's not good for knives to get so wet...) to screws, wirenuts, a red ink pen (neato permanent design inside my dryer and on the rest of the load), cans of Copenhagen (yuck and super yuck), too many lip balms to count (and did I yell and berate myself for leaving them in my jeans pocket? heck no), a few Polly Pockets and Legos, Hot Wheels cars, pacifiers, hairbrushes (this is on purpose -- works really well to clean them up, but do pull the hair out of them first) and of course quite a few items belonging to the US Treasury. The last don't distress me in the least. I tend to pocket them with a grin. :D

Have a safe and laundry-surprise free day!

Piper Denna
Romance is sexy! (laundry is not...)

1 comment:

Stephanie said...

Oh I've been pen. And oh was I mad.

I agree...there should be some kind of PSA for this!