In the time honored tradition of Pooh's Thotful Spot and modern-day philosophers such as SNL's Jack Handy, allow me to induct a new Piper Patter feature - the Thotful Spot, where we examine deep modern quandaries.
First up: Have you ever wondered...Why don't they make mouse flavored cat food? Most of the flavors available really aren't part of a cat's natural diet. How many kitties could manage to land themselves sea food, unleass they followed a fisherman around like in cartoons? And chicken? Although I'm confident a cat would mau(no pun intended) down on a chicken, he wouldn't be able to catch one unless it was very small. 9Lives should start selling some new flavors: Field Mouse, Sparrow, and Moth, to name a few. Exotic flavors could include Chipmunk, Young Rabbit, and - just for my own Einstein - Yarn (or perhaps Power Cord Sheath, as he's now demolished Cornfuscius' laptop cord as well). Some cats would enjoy Houseplant, fresh-baked Birthday Cake (yeah, I kept that one to myself and nobody knew the difference once I'd frosted it!), and the ever-popular Shower Water.
Geez. Who's in charge of product development in the pet food industry, anyhow?
Happy Friday! God knows I'm ecstatic about it...