This made me smile. One of my son's teachers sent home an "assignment" for the parents... to write a piece describing our child, in one million words or less. Now, it's true that when you ask a parent to brag, you're inviting long-windedness. But I doubt a layperson has any idea how many words a million would be. I sat down and thought about all the books I've written--even the unsold ones, and they don't add up to a million words. Quite far from it, actually.
Anyway, I'd better go prepare my outline for the essay...got lots to say, ya know. ;)