I believe I've undergone some experimental treatment. The staff in a building operating under the facade of an oral surgical facility has turned me into a half-cat.
I'm not making this up. All I want to do now is sleep - some days even more than my cats - and when I wake up and stretch I want to sleep some more. I make strange purring noises in the back of my throat (sometimes when I'm not even asleep yet!), and I have an uncanny craving for meat. Any kind of meat: fish, beef, chicken, pork... perhaps in part because so many of those grinder-teeth are gone, and now I'm left with a higher ratio of the bite-off-shreds-n-tatters-of-your-fare, fang-like teeth.
If I start growing (longer) whiskers, The Institute for Upright-Walking-Cat Creation is going down.