Friday Funny

In a trial, a southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She nodded. "Why, yes, I do. Iv'e known Mr. Breadley since he was a youngester, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with andone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with threee different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you ideots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair!"

Autumn Piper
Got romance?

Friday funny

Whew. This week has kicked my heiney.

I'm ready for the weekend and looking for a laugh anywhere I can find one. Hopefully this will give you a chuckle:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Poof! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Poof! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story? Always let your boss have the first say.

Piper Denna
Romance is sexy!

Friday Funny

More music mix-ups from young Fuscius-etta

Uncle Kracker's Drift Away: Give me the Beach Boys, and free my soul....

Always good for a laugh, that one.

Autumn
Got romance?

Friday Funny

Song lyrics done wrong (by young Fuscius-etta)


Aerosmith's Dude Walks Like a Lady (must be the high heels...?)

Technotronic's Pump Up the Jam... "Get yer beauty on the floor tonight, make my day..."

This one made me giggle so hard I almost wrecked:

Queen's Another One Bites the Bus.

Kids. Can't convince 'em of the right lyrics, can't turn up the music loud enough to drown out their singing.

Autumn Piper
Got romance?

Friday Funny

Here's hoping you get the same belly laugh I did:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story? Always let your boss have the first say.

Autumn Piper
Got romance?