Friday Kid Funny

Ahh, the glory of that last-day-before-Christmas-break feeling! The teacher gifts are all prepped and packed (giving the gift of gambling this year - scratch tickets, baby), we've got a pile of snow for sledding, and the kids are stoked.

Me? I'm planning to use those early mornings after Mister heads off to work (while the kidlets are still snoozing) to write. I've got a story to finish, and it better be soon. January's looking like a very busy month for me work-wise. I'm already booked for almost all of it.

And speaking of work, that's where I got this week's funny. Last year I subbed in a first-grade class right before Christmas break. We read some story about Santa (helping the parents with their subterfuge...) and had stopped to discuss something about being good. One little boy raised his hand and said, "Yeah, or you'll get COLESLAW." Took me quite a bit of head-scratching, but I finally made the connection. Coal/coleslaw in the stocking. Heh. Poor lil dude has probably never seen real life coal, and really, for a 6 year old, getting a pile of shredded cabbage is every bit as offensive as a prehistoric rock!

Merry Friday!
May the Christmas spirit guide you to a pausing place beneath the mistletoe with someone hunky.

Autumn
Got romance?

Fables, Fiction...Subterfuge?

Who knew a dude in a red fur coat could cause so much extra work?

Yes, I'm talking about Santa. When your kids are toddlers, it's so much fun telling them the fairy tale. And so darn easy to keep up the ruse. They dictate a letter to you and wander off to play, no questions.

When they get a little older, they're still foolable, though you've got to come up with an evidenciery facade, such as footprints, letters of reply, explanations about the mall Santa and why he smelled like beer, special wrapping paper from Santa.

The plot thickens.

Then your kids can spell and you and dh can no longer spell out certain ideas - you've got to make up a secret code language. You now need special gift tags for the gifts with special paper, wrapped away and secretly stowed in the attic, not to be put under the tree until Christmas Eve. Scraps of the special paper must be disposed of discreetly, the remainder of the roll hidden away. Christmas morning, there'd better be reindeer teeth marks on those remaining stubs of carrots you left for Santa and Rudolph. And the handwriting on Santa's gift tags had better not be the same as Mom's or Dad's. Oh, and those letters to Santa? Signed and sealed in secret - and they watch you slide them into the mailbox at the post office.

Oh, the trickery, the spy games (ever try to steam open an envelope that has that sticky type seal instead of the old glue kind, huh?), the bald-faced lies. And bringing in the older kids to help? It certainly smacks of conspiracy.

Well, no matter. I'm 99% sure my youngest knows what's going on. She's masterminded a plan to sneak out to the couch and sleep - wait for Santa. Daddy did the same when he was a bit younger than her, and reports it broke his heart. I imagine she'll feel the same way.

Now I wonder - will next Christmas be easier without all this sneaking around, or will it just seem empty?

Autumn
Got romance?

Watcha Readin' Wednesday

This week I'm reading....

...A contract! For my contemporary romance, Lone Star Trouble (formerly known as Blame It On Texans).

I'm very excited. Naturally the contract is confidential so I can't actually review it here, but Lyrical Press seems to really be professional and ambitious. I'm confident and pleased to be along for the ride on this rising star in the publishing industry.

On Cloud Nine,

Autumn
Got romance?

On the nightstand: Unexpected, by Lori Foster

'Tube Tuesday

A must-see for anybody who's ever read or written a romance novel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vD0z1hSXTJM

Love it.

Autumn
Got romance?

Things that suck more than Mondays

A few more...(you don't seriously think I'll ever run out of stuff to whine about, do ya?)

• Oversleeping
• Sleeping later than you intended on the weekend and waking up with that damn-I-just-wasted-a-bunch-of-my-day-off feeling
• Self-editing
• Not knowing what to buy that "special someone" for Christmas
• Knowing precisely what you want to buy that "special someone" but not finding it
• Knowing precisely what you'd like to buy that "special someone" but being too poor
• Getting a gift from someone on your not-sure-if-we'll-exchange-gifts-this-year-list. When you didn't get them anything!
• People who whine too much about Christmas angst...

Merry Monday!

Piper Denna

Romance is sexy!