Today is a big day for me. (and not only because I've finally blogged again, after a 2 month absence. More about that below.) Today my kids went off to school without me. As in, in a car. Which my son drove. He got his license on Friday, and he's been several places on his own. And each time he goes, I feel a little pull... kinda like the one I felt the first time I had to hand him over to somebody else to hold. The first night he slept without me, the steps he took without my help. Yeah, you get the picture. It's mostly a mommy thing, I know. Dad felt a little "something"--he tells me guys don't "worry" like women do, he just knows some of the things he got up to behind the wheel when he was younger, which can't be worry, right? LOL--but it's a whole different concern for him. For me, I guess it's still about being needed (or not), being able to help and nurture. I don't worry so much about his driving. He's pretty solid behind the wheel, I think. It's more like that first day of 2nd grade when we walked to school and he didn't need a kiss goodbye. Watching him drive away early Saturday morning to meet the bus to his baseball game, I thought to myself, "This isn't a moment you ever imagine when your little guy is 2 and needs you for everything." You know the kid's gonna grow up, and you want him to, to be independent and successful. But sometimes it's damn hard letting go. I probably won't ever watch that car insurance commercial where the guy is admonishing his little girl, who's in the driver's seat, to be careful, and handing her the car keys, without getting a little, um, emotional.
But on the positive front, no more driving kids to school. Woohoo! Which means I can get "my" day going that much earlier. And that's a very good thing. Because I have so much catching up to do. Which leads me to the explanation for my extended absence:
No, I did not go on a walking tour of Europe. Or have an extended hiatus on Tahiti. I had a little eye trouble. As in, my left retina detached. Which was scary, and dark, and a little bit expensive (though not nearly as much as I'd feared, since we're "one of those" uninsured families). Good news is, I should make a full recovery, though it'll be slow. For now, reading/focusing with that left eye is tough sometimes and just ain't happening other times. But I can see with it, which is a truly amazing accomplishment of modern medicine. Here's a little info about it if it all sounds confusing, and the treatment I had was Pneumatic retinopexy --which we had to do multiple times, because the retina kept coming away in new spots. But now I only have a little fluid still trapped behind my retina, making things a bit "wrinkled" when I look at them. And the vision in that eye is kind of dark, like I'm wearing a sunglass lens over it, because the fluid in front of my eye is discolored from the many laser treatments it took. Anyway. I couldn't read much at all for about 3 weeks, which put me miles behind in my editing, completely off track from writing. So I'm playing a little catch-up, and hoping the new 30-45 minutes a day I've been gifted with by my son's driving will help me get that to-do list back in check.
And though I didn't have a life-threatening experience, it was scary enough to shake me up and make me think about what things are important. So I'm doing a little "restructuring" with my career(s) right now. Going to focus on editing, writing, and promoting my books. Helping hubby with his business books, and making the home function like it used to when I didn't work out of the home. Probably I will only be working out of the home from here on, and we'll be fine without that "day job". Hopefully. :)
Time to map out that To Do List.