USA Today Best of 2012

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Branding... Will it hurt?

Today's entry is actually my post as guest blogger at CataUniversity.

See ya there!

Autumn Piper
Got romance?

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Tree Books

Love this entry from Urban Dictionary:

tree book:

A book printed on dead trees, i.e. paper, as opposed to an e-book, which only exists electronically. Compare with snail mail.

Thomas: Hey, how do you like your new Kindle?
Andrew: I don't know, I haven't used it yet. I'm still trying to finish all the tree-books I'm reading.

Piper Denna

Romance is sexy!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Live debut

Today I'm doing an internet radio talk show...

The link is here, for anyone who wants to listen live or send in questions, and the whole shebang will also be archived for the listening pleasure (or pain) of future posterity.

Come check it out!

Autumn Piper
Got romance?

Friday, March 26, 2010

Pearls of Wisdom

I can't resist. Got this comment from a friend this week, and it's just too darn true--I had to share:

When I was younger, I really couldn't figure out why old ladies ended up with households full of cats.
Now that I'm older, I totally get it. It's because people are assholes, and cats can't talk.

Now isn't that a gem?
Thanks, Twyla!

And on that note... spring break is officially sprung at 3:35 PM today. Wooohooo!

Autumn Piper

Got romance?

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Station Break

Migraine season officially opened this morning, so we're going to take a moment or so of silence.

Tune in tomorrow...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Who loves shorts?

I'm guest blogger over at CataUniversity today.
Come check out my post about the glories of novellas.

Piper Denna
Romance is sexy!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Been there, done that

Love today's entry at Urban dictionary:


When you have to call someone back but don't want to talk to them, so you wait until you know they can't talk and leave a voice mail.

"I don't want to tell Karen I can't make it tonight, so I'll Stealth-call her when she's on her flight and has her phone shut off."

Piper Denna

Romance is sexy!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Smart-ass Monday

Top Smart-Ass Answers of 2009

Number 6

It was mealtime during an airline flight.
"Would you like dinner?" a flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

Number 5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to take tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket but he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

Autumn Piper

Got romance?

Friday, March 19, 2010

Freaky Friday

My calendar reminded me this morning that I've got another friend's birthday coming up. Which got me thinking. Seems like I've got a boatload of birthdays in the spring. So I wondered... are birth rates higher this time of year?

My internet research gave me some interesting answers. In Europe, yes. Birth rates peak in springtime. In the U.S., no. August to September have the highest rates. Why? Nobody knows for sure! Weird, huh?

Have a great Friday.

Autumn Piper

Got romance?

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Copy n paste post

Today I'm still trying to recover from the time change, so I'll just provide a link to an amusing post I read this morning over on the LPI blog, by Jason Beymer, who was briefly on my author roster.

He wrote about the "characters" we see on reality TV. (and of course, how they can be used in writing)

Piper Denna
Romance is sexy!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

It's here!

Finally, right here in my house...
I'm not talking about the religious flier left by my front door, or our new edition of Forbes, which we never ordered but seem to have inherited.
Not talking about St. Pat's day or my baby brother's birthday (one and the same), but by the way, happy 4 leaf clovers to one and all!
Not talking about spring, which seems to be just around the corner, but will no doubt play peek-a-boo with us a few more times...
Nope. I'm talking about my author copy of Trouble Under Venus. And all I can say is... wow. It's just such a big old deal to hold it in my hands, flip the pages, read Randi's journal entries. The dedication turns on my waterworks without fail. I actually got the book Friday night, but have been putting off the blog entry, because I didn't want to sound sappy and like a big doofus, but it really is a huge deal for me, this book more than any other.
And I've been thinking how I'd really like to write a sequel for Randi and Mitch. I can totally see her poking her nose into his cases some more, and with his unique skill as the only FBI agent able to time-travel, the possibilities for his cases are bountiful!

One of these months, when I've got tons of time on my hands...

Autumn Piper
Got romance?

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

On Friendship

Another goodie from the Oprah emails (don't know why she is pestering me so much lately).

It's a short video about an elephant friendship. Quite cute... hope all the ads and other vids behave themselves for you... they rather had minds of their own for me!

Piper Denna
Romance is sexy!

Monday, March 15, 2010

In a perfect world

In a perfect world...
We'd skip all this Daylight Savings Time BS and just let the days lengthen and shorten naturally.

--Grumpy Piper

Friday, March 12, 2010

A new comic!

I'm rather excited about a new comic (not a strip, because it's a single-frame type) my local paper is carrying.

It's called F Minus. Sort of a new version of Far Side, one of my alltime faves.

And predictably, the creator is a funny guy. He writes a newspaper column. This one made me giggle in a few spots -- and thank God that he's not my husband.

The sample my paper offered in its announcement featured a man marooned on a dinky island, and heading straight for him was a tiger in a canoe. His thought bubble said simply, "Figures". Made me snicker. My daughter had a different (less positive) reaction. She found it stupid and wanted to know what a tiger was doing in a canoe.

You just can't force this type of humor. I bet she'd hate Far Side too.

Piper Denna

Romance is sexy!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Days of Our Un-lives?

I was home from work the other day and had one of the TV music stations playing (not a hairband channel day, but I was rocking hard with some adult contemp goodies, LOL) while I did some editing stuff.

At 2:23, the DVR changed channels (yes, it's true, our DVR finds it imperative to begin recording on NBC 8 hours and 12 minutes prior to start time of the Tonight Show, thanks DirecTV for sucking big rotten eggs). Lo and behold, Days of Our Lives was playing.

Well, many moons ago I was a devoted Days fan. And by Devoted, I mean I scoured the market for the longest-playtime blank VCR tapes because it was absolutely recorded every single day for playback later that night or ASAP. Anyway. It's been probably 15 years since I've watched it, but I couldn't resist peeking for a few minutes.

And you know what? Same old characters, same old actors (good things). Same stuff happening - Vivien is poisoning some unsuspecting daughter of Carly Manning - AGAIN. She's apparently hooked up with Victor Kuriakis - AGAIN. Bo and Carly dining at the same restaurant, seemingly in love -AGAIN. (a bit tired, but OK things)

But dear lord. The Botox those people must go through!!! (baaad things. Might need some rehab for actors on this show who can't stop getting "work" done) Victor looks younger now than he did 25 years ago when I first watched (at first glance, that is). Vivien and Bo too. Holy hell. They must have an on-set Botox trailer for those people to use between takes! (Days of Our Botox Injections? Days of Our Facelifts?) On second glance, nothing moves when the actors talk. (to be fair, Carly's actress still looks like she's got real skin) I started wondering whether there wasn't some ventriloquism going on, but heck no. Not even a line where the mouth and chin would move separately from the rest of the face. Yikes. Just a bunch of big, shiny, smooth plastic faces happening. Made me kinda miss the days of old Alice Horton, who aged on the show along with her character.

Excuse me now while I go look at the "11" between my eyes and remind myself that it's better than plastic...

Autumn Piper

Got romance?

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Vocab building

Here's a word I can put to good use!

March 10: recrap

To sum up a discussion composed largely of useless bullshit.

Person 1: "Tell me how the staff meeting went."
Person 2: "Allow me to recrap..."

Piper Denna

Romance is sexy!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

More on food

OK. So I'm not exactly a Cook with Prowess... but when I come across something that works for me, I like to share.

I found this recipe in a magazine and then adjusted it as needed to make it work for my family.

Do-It-Yourself Crispy Tortilla Pizzas

6 to 8 inch flour tortillas (1 per person)
Jar spaghetti sauce (store brand works fine, but whatever you like. Save what's left of the jar for a casserole or simple pasta night later in the week)
Shredded cheese (I like to have the mexican mix or colby/jack as well as mozzarella and parmesan)
Meats of choice (sliced pepperoni, any sausage your family likes, bacon bits, small-cut pieces of ham or any leftover meat from the fridge: chicken, turkey, roast beef, pork roast, etc)
Veggies (again, whatever the fam likes: sliced olives, mushrooms, onion, peppers, -- I buy a tiny jar of artichoke hearts and save the leftovers for next time -- I've got one kid who likes shredded carrots on everything, pineapple chunks if you like)

Lightly coat each tortilla on both sides with nonstick spray and lay out on cookie sheets. For smaller kids, go ahead and spoon on the appropriate amount of sauce, but otherwise let everybody "decorate" their pizza with desired toppings. Back on middle oven rack for 4 minutes at 500 degrees (yes, 500), then move to lower rack for 3 minutes or until edges of tortillas are golden and crispy.

Pull 'em out of the oven and slice into quarters with a pizza cutter - serve up to the happy campers.

Much more satisfying than an Almond Joy... :)

Autumn Piper
Got romance?

Monday, March 8, 2010

You've really gotta feel like a nut....

"Sometimes you feel like a nut... sometimes you don't." So true.
The kids and I stopped by a convenience store on the way home from school the other day to get snacks (which means candy) so I joined the fray, and picked out an Almond Joy.
What the hell was I thinking? I mean, coconuts, almonds and chocolate are
the bomb, but...
Do they seriously call that a candy bar? Everytime I get one, I'm left feeling ripped off. It's two bite-sized lumps (you can stretch it by taking two tiny bites of each lump, but really... it's a stretch). Two lumps. Two Almonds. Criminy. So here I was, polishing off Tiny Bite #4 and look over to see my daughter still working on the first half of her 3 Musketeers. Damn.
Yes, the image to the left is really half of what I paid something like a buck for. If you're viewing this blog post on a very small smart phone, the image is probably actual size.

Lesson learned. Next time I'm up for the Musketeers or one of those awesome Reese's with Dark Chocolate. I refuse to be scammed by the Coconut Con Team again. No more bite-size candybars in full-size packaging for me!
Unless I really, really feel like a nut....

Autumn Piper
Got romance?

Friday, March 5, 2010

What a woman wants (cute)

This one was forwarded to me and it seemed worth sharing.
What a woman wants in a man:

Original List:

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4.. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)

1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)

1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)

2. Doesn't miss the toilet...

Happy Friday!

Autumn Piper

Got romance?

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Quotes on happiness

A few quotes which resonated when I read them in (another) email from Oprah mag:

~"Happiness depends upon ourselves."~ —Aristotle

~"Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it."~ —Jaques Prevert

~"One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats."~ —Iris Murdoch

"It is only possible to live happily ever after on a daily basis."~ —Margaret Bonanno

~"Remember this, that very little is needed to make a happy life."~ — Marcus Aurelius

Piper Denna

Romance is sexy!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

The article title says it all...

Got this one in an email from Oprah (guess I should qualify that. From Oprah magazine, not her personally. Even though ya'll know we're like this). According to the leader, it's supposed to be about what men think about during sex, but it's more what guys think about sex overall.

Piper Denna

Romance is sexy!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Kids have the best one-liners

I subbed in preschool yesterday (and am doing so today also). It's always an adventure there. I like to think they don't devour me like Schwarzennegger on Kindergarten Cop, but 6 or 8 kids from 3-5 will wipe me out every bit as much as 25 sixth graders any day! Cuteness aside, I think the little ones are every bit as wicked as the other ones, they just have a more limited vocabulary.

And say some really funny stuff.

For instance: Yesterday I read aloud a book introducing dinosaurs, because they're learning about them this month. So. I get to the types of dinosaurs, and there's triceratops. Time for a little question. I ask, "Can you think of an animal living today that looks like triceratops?" (for you out-of-the-loop grownups, he's the one with three horns)
I wait for someone to answer "rhino". A little boy does.
Meanwhile, a completely brilliant little girl (and I've no doubt she is, because her big brother is going to state in the 8th grade math competition -- he didn't even have to scrape out figures on paper during his oral round; he computed in his head, which blew everyone away... GO JOSEPH!!!) sorry, off track there. Anyway. This brilliant child nods thoughtfully and says, "I'll Google it."
She'll Google it.

I love it.

Happy Tuesday.

Autumn Piper

Romance is sexy!

Monday, March 1, 2010

My lucky day

Saturday was stellar for me. I got not one, but 2 review notices, one for Lone Star Trouble and the other for Trouble Under Venus! (And nobody called me "pottymouth" this time, LOL)

Here's the one for for Venus (its very first! "5 diamonds" whooeee)

And, the one for Lone Star Trouble.

That's all I've got this morning. Heading off to elementary school PE for the day. Be still my throbbing eardrums!

Happy Monday,

Autumn Piper
Got romance?